He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
