We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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