you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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