so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
