He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
