I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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