i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
