Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize