P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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