i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
