last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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