Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
