And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
