idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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