Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
