So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
