Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
