I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
