There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
