I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
