Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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