I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
