I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
