The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize