with your own penis?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
