We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
