what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
