your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
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