Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
