no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
