She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
