She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your penis caused this!
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