Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
