Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
