The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
