How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
