i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
