alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
