member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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