big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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