I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
