You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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