remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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