Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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