dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
