Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
