That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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