On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
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