I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Randomize
