I CAN MOONWALK!
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
