Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Those nachos came to me in a dream
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
