I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
