ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As shirtless as possible
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize