he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
