i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
