i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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