i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
