But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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