Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
