They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
