Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
