there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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