That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
