I molested 6 butterflies tonight
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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