how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
