Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
