Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
