Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
