They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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