he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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