just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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